Thoughts and fantasies of a submissive

I saw Mistress last Friday and a happy time was had by both. Before I get to details, a quick word on consequences. Mistress never quite got my chastity device off. Several hours of hardening in the ring caused my knoblet to bruise along the sides. This was painful at the time and encouraged chaste thoughts after. But worse, her use of the knobbled vibe on the head of my knoblet was so forceful and repeated that she actually wore away the skin on the underside just below the head,  by the purse string. That or her periodic re insertions into the tube without lube caused the friction. Whatever the cause, it meant that my favourite spot was damaged and to touch it was very sore. To hump it almost impossible. This suggested a week out of the device to heal. Which I did and have now recovered. But it also interrupted my morning routine. Which is to lie in bed while my wife showers for work and squeeze and roll my nipples while quietly humping the mattress. As the hero in Americ

Bent at the waist and holding my arms demurely behind my back and waiting for my deserved and longed for spanking. This was the culmination to a Thursday overnight. The spanking was brief but beautiful. 

The post title poses one question but of two different things. The first - why write at all. I have an audience of one and why carry on. A subject for another post. The question posed though is why do I need or want another? I am blessed in so many ways with happinesses, of all kinds, so why do I need still more? A question that I should answer as the audience of one (Hi Miss) deserves one from someone who's become her friend as well as her grateful helpmeet. The answer is in part greed. How much is enough when it comes to happiness? There may be only one yacht to water ski behind but when does one stop wanting to feel all that life can give and store the full measure of happiness against the pain and sadness that will inevitably show up? But in that above there is the rest of the answer. All that life can give is difference,  even if subtle variations on the same tunes. Miss and Mistress are different and do and enjoy different things. That last has always been hugely impo

So to finish something, a thing I'm not good at. I said I'd been to see Miss for a quiet evening of conversation,  wine and physical pampering. The Friday just passed I went round to finish what I had begun. But the only satisfaction to be had was emotional. Her house had some work done to it and needed upkeep. Some curtains were involved. It took far longer than we could have guessed. I had duties of my own and couldn't stay too long. Suffice to say there was time for an all too brief spanking to reward me for my helpfulness, a tease for me and a longer period spent on adoring Miss and then it was off I went. Still locked. And celebrating my second week in my chastity device as I type. Being the greedy slut I am I am of course thrilled to be denied still. I am disappointed that I didn't get more than the 5 minutes or so of teasing I got abd still more so that there was only half an hour of pleasing for Miss, even if we did share the chocolate I'd hidden

Still trying to post daily but need to start publishing stories at some point. Meantime another quick thought about my sole (irregular) reviewer. I was bantering on the phone tonight. Joshing and insulting each other in the way friends do. Ban-tah as the locals might put it. But as I said to Miss, and am saying again now, I may josh and joke but the true words are spoken softly and at close range. I whisper in her ear that she is amazing because she is. I tell her why she's amazing and why she deserves the pampering I give her. Why this is not a favour for her but a favour for me. A true pleasure to serve and to spend ages languidly working in the massage lotion until two showers and countless hand washes I can still smell the scent of it on my hands. So tomorrow I head round for the reward of tenderness and kindness. And what will that be? I don't know. I don't want to know. Will I even be unlocked?  It has been almost two weeks so I'm hoping so. But an unloc

The other night a vanilla engagement fell through so I popped round to see my friendly neighbourhood dominatrix. After a nice chat over some vino we adjourned upstairs to pamper Miss. I'd finished her back and had moved to her feet. She grumbled that I hadn't done her back. Of course I had. But her complaining was code for her wanting more... So I softly chuckled to myself. Then she complained I hadn't done her feet... Sigh. It's been over a week in my device now and despite all my 'do overs' when we were done the best I got was a hug. Oh to feel her hands on my chest and her knee in my groin. No unlock required - just to feel me up while I'm locked up. So I left as I deserved, no special treatment just the opportunity to serve. Happily. Chaste and obedient and back on Friday for more of the same. And we found photos of previous sessions so might get some of those to post soon  too. Just a quiet Tuesday.

So I'm trying to do smaller posts but more often. One a day ideally but we'll see. I am documenting current happiness but before I carry on a precursor to larger confessions. I was coming back from a shopping trip with Miss and we were at the last moments of what had been another happy expedition. As I stood by her (not enough seats unfortunately) I noticed that the girl next to her was wearing lovely black boots, which thanks to the weather needed a good polish. I was talking happily away but longing to fall to the floor as every good sub should do. Now I'll rationalise this as that the lady's boots were black leather and would benefit from my tongue, where Miss was wearing sensible pink trainers that would only have gone soggy from that kind of attention. I want to be helpful and can only be so in the right circumstances. But it's more craven than that. I'm greedy for more even when I have more than I could ever wish for. I can't defend it so I w

Well I'm writing more but posting less,  a problem of not finishing things. Either at all or to a sufficient standard. So a quick one. I'm trying to inveigle my wife into my preferred chastity lifestyle. She's looking after my key. Looking after is a stretch, and like most devices It's hardly secure but it's a start. A week locked up and will be many days before a prospect of external salvation. This also in part to Miss who forsook her usual pleasure of hanginghanging me by my wrists from her ceiling and showing me what my sex can give up by just letting me pamper her, a brief bout of assaulting my greedy tits and letting her knee slip forcefully between my stockinged legs. Ah next week, would that it were here already. But also in a way that it'd never come,  just as I should not. So I remain - small in my chastity. Kept small but happy. Small and leaky...

So having worked my little socks off on day one, day two was about play, a session lasting not quite 24 hours. So arrived early and went immediately to a bath. Miss suggests this is because I'm 'stinky' but after a shower already its to let me shave my legs... This is a lovely lead in as she pulls up a chair and we have a chat and some banter. Nice deep relaxing bath and good company. Yummy. Then out and dressing time. Black seamed hold up stockings, black lace panties, long black gloves and my favourite red satin short nightie. And then a problem - I'd thought ribbons to tie around the tops of the stockings and the gloves. Red ribbons to contrast the black. But perhaps LPD hadn't read my email properly (certainly so). Perhaps my email hadn't been so clear (also very much the case). There were some sulky moments on my part but we got there in the end, I got beribboned and Miss refrained from slapping me silly. My red leather sensory deprivation hood closed o