Thoughts and fantasies of a submissive

The bruises from my last time with Miss have sadly faded. Fortunately, the last time i offered my slim arm to her teeth, Miss was so vicious that she broke the skin. This hasn't healed yet. I am glad of it. The tiny knobble of scabby skin is something I can touch, something that verifies her mark. It's nice and easier to feel than my bruises.  But it's fading too and i need replacements badly. To be shaved and dressed again. To be abused, put in my straight jacket and made to endure hours of therapy, finished off with some cruel polishing and palming.  But woe, ma belle Tyrante is not feeling well.  I am full of sympathy and affection for her and pester her from afar to eat properly, rest up and take her meds.  But I also need.  I need bad things again, badly. It's got so as I have been slapping my own face throughout the day. One slap each cheek. Then  when the heat subsided, doing it again. And again. Sets out the kind of mood I'm in.  Firm treatment...

Sadly Miss has not been well, and neither has my old friend Kentish Miss so all my social engagements have dried up today and I am home alone. Which means I've been thinking about Miss and sending some flirty, dirty banter. Not quiet bratting, but on the cusp.  Yesterday I suggested I should spank her for not replying to one of my messages. This is very outrageous as I have never done that, but it's good to tweak the tail of my Miss even if I wouldn't spank it. Though having suggested I'd hit her on the bottom with the women's weekly, a la Victoria Wood, I went as far as googling it to see if they still print it.  Which they do... So your bottom isn't out of the woods yet Miss.  Mind you if I ever did I'm sure I would spend a lot of time kissing it better, however lightly it had been offended. And that the rolled up magazine would be used more stringently on a more efficacious area of my body for my temerity.  Then Miss advised me she was seeing a hygienist ...

...it was Miss all along. So i was on my long train ride and listening to Miss' choice of music for it. A long ambient trance track that was both atmospheric and a bit melancholic which was perfect for a misty grey day, which yielded finally to night with the sunset beautifully silhouetting trees on the skyline like arboreal skeletons. Over the course of the hours Miss rang and did not, long silences when i thought she'd stopped followed by rapid fire calls. For each call i squeezed the head of the knoblet between thumb and forefinger, through my trousers, counting the number of squeezes per call, getting as high as almost a hundred. I had thought i'd be able to do this from my pocket but ones i had on were quite awkward when sat down. So i just threw my coat over me as if asleep/dozing and with left hand under the folds of said coat, the regular pinching of thumb and forefinger was not noticeable to even me and i was doing it. When man on other side of the train left at fi...

Another wonderful session of therapy round with Miss the other night. Still feel tingly.  There were some technical difficulties early doors, with Miss setting up ad free Youtube and then having some internet difficulty. The kind we'll look back on and laugh one day, hell i'm laughing already ;) But wasn't when we were back online, Miss driving me like a race car.  Red lining it when she had me erect and panting almost constantly. With my voice rising and in near panic mode as she controls me but takes me to the edge so often, holding me near, breath ragged knoblet wishing to deflate for its own protection but waggling hard still.  There was a time one night when Miss was toying with me before we fell asleep and it was so intense and so controlled that I was genuinely afraid. I said I was tired and i needed to go to sleep. So we did. But as I lay next to her I was not asleep, i was relieved to escape.  Red lining me is the closest we have come to that.   Th...

 I have a long train journey coming up and sadly I cannot be joined by Miss. But I got to thinking, perhaps not physically.  But what if we were still connected?  A remote controlled vibe would be one way, but too loud. And i have a deep abhorrence of making other people uncomfortable. That and with over 4 weeks of denial would likely make me lose control as well and that would never do.  But a long time ago we played a game with my old Nokia, where she rang me and rang me but I never picked up. The Nokia had a powerful vibration and I had it attached to me downstairs and so every time it rang Miss was able to speak to me as it were. So with this journey coming up I thought we could recreate some of this.  So I thought, how about I text when I am cosily set up on the train? Cosily equals sat by a window, earphones in, Sambient playing and with coat draped over my side and lap, phone in my pocket. Then you can call me and with every ring I will throb the head of ...

Had another wonderful day with Miss, back to normal with usual mix of day out and day in.  It's interesting how life advances. When we started regularly hitting the market I used to let Miss carry a little bag of pastries or the like home so it didn't look weird that I was carrying all the groceries. I was very worried about how things looked in those days. On the way back this time I had all the groceries, on my back and in a shopping bag, with brolley on other hand, Miss on that arm to keep her close and out of the rain and with my fly open with my PALE PINK active wear flashing slightly through the gap.  How times change.  Lord knows what anyone looking might have made of it all. It's a big city, no-one looks or cares.  We had good times and good food, and at end of the evening between dinner and me having to go we sat on sofa for a bit. I was still in my stays and stockings and Miss was sat next to me on the sofa just gripping the knoblet and crushing it in her f...