Thoughts and fantasies of a submissive

The other day i was round at Miss's place for a typical 'mooch' - a bit of a relax, bit of sexual assault, Miss time and then eventual bed. All very relaxed and there's something very sweet about being draped over your Miss's thighs while she works over the knoblet til it cries little tears of unfulfilled desire (my phone auto completed that so sorry as it means i must have used it before). All while Miss is obviously and whole heartedly enjoying doing it. Sigh. On being 'subtly' woken next morning i tried to gently persuade Miss that i was trying to be a better man, and she should refrain from making me climax. This is partly because I'm a better submissive when denied. Partly because I don't genuinely think i deserve the escape of release. It's also partly because, since she bit me so  hard that she stole my sense of orgasm that I'm terrified she'll do it again. Miss was having none of it. 'Better man protestations got a bollo...

Ok so that is largely a play on Princess Humperdink, by planned marriage, in the Princess Bride. An excellent film and apologies for utilising its cherished memory for another sordid idea. In consolation no-one reads these save myself and a couple of key people who have an interest in me (in some shape or other) so the offence is likely small. Plus i don't think either has seen the Princess Bride so further reduced to the point of why bother mentioning it. Anyways, the idea was to make me hump a pillow, a pillow covered in a pink pillow case. Not allowed to climax just long periods of humping the pillow and crying pre-cum tears into it.  Mistress doesn't have to do anything per se, just bid me to hump the pillow and to make sure i grind as much moisture into it as i can. She can help, and use the pillow case to dry rub me periodically,  polishing my sensitive head til it is red and sore. End of the session she can make me sleep on the pillow with the scent of a long day of...

While I'm happy to offer it's also nice to have little gifts too. Mistress bought me a wooden ruler snd I've some video of her using it to good effect from before Christmas. I had another thought for a very reasonable priced gift. At the dungeon she uses a massage table to bind me to upstairs. It's very comfortable but would benefit from an anchor point in the low beam above. This would do https://www.screwfix.com/p/white-cup-hooks-3mm-x-45mm-10-pack/37634 The little hook would be more than enough to hang my poor balls, tied with a little laces and stretched away from my body to the ceiling. That would help my bound body keep even quieter, anchored additionally by my nuts Fixed and presented they'd also make an ideal target for that other gift - the wooden ruler for she who rules. All for less than the price of a coffee.

Again have been thinking about these sort of things, and things is part of it. Objects, paraphernalia and, as my SO found so deeply hilarious the other day, 'utensils'. I was thinking about my desire for them and thinking about the inconvenience it imposes on those i ask to buy them. Miss has bought things for me, but as this is almost always bought online it means she seems to be forever bombarded with adverts and emails, and the veterinary products triggered by buying some vet wrap seem particularly irksome. Being home for the delivery too. And then storage... So i thought compensating for this might be better. Adding an agreed mark up for the related hassle - a way of thanking properly for these things but also incentivising getting more. Miss might be enthused to buy a set of panties for me. Or pay in advance for the stockings I'll ladder. Maybe even buy some fancy ones I'll definitely have to be careful not to... Mistress might prefer this too. Give her a c...

I'll be seeing Miss again Friday before swanning off to see Mistress after. It's a betrayal she's ok with, resigned to might be a better way of putting it, but i like to see her even if just socially. She does too, and I'm paying for breakfast so that will go some way to atoning (and for the rest that's for another post). Our rendezvous often start with the returning of things borrowed or of small gifts. For ecample, there's a small pink journal I'll have added to - writing a little note on a way she makes me happy. In her turm she'll write something about me in it too. By the end we'll have a little book of shared happiness, so at least my hope goes. Continuing the small theme i have a small gift for her, something promised in lieu of the larger Christmas gift she spurned. I hope she likes it. My hope is that these small exchanges are augmented with the occasional small gift for me.  I'm not being mercenary - the gift would be of something...

In the dark of the room, the loyal PA/ puppy tried to get comfortable. He quickly realised there was sufficiemt length on the leash to reach the toilet and awkwardly and painfully stretched himself over the porcelain to relieve himself. Even encumbered as he was he used a mittened paw to make sure he pointed properly into the bowl. He also managed to pop the seat down and mash a hand into the button for the flush. Knees aggravated by all this activity he settled back into a ball on the floor, rolling occasionally to the other side as he waited eagerly for her return. His thoughts turned over in his head and offered as little comfort as did turning on the floor. He wanted to be released, but he feared what would happen when she came back too. The evening wasn't over yet. He must have dozed off as the clunk of the door woke him. He hated that as it meant he'd lost all track of time. She called out to him as she came inside and as he was unclipped from the bath and dragged brisk...

I'm a big believer in the principle of waste not want not. Perhaps this is part of the depression era values inculcated in a child raised in times of plenty. But frugality and related disciplines help to avoid being wasteful and focus the mind on ways to reuse and recycle.  In a range of circumstances... I imagine myself tied down on the bed in a hotel of my acquaintance, by a friend of my acquaintance. It's not hard to imagine as it happens often - happily. Mistress is lying next to me. So close i can feel her breath. Smell too the scent of the sweet coffee i have made for her. I'm blindfolded and gagged but all the more attentive to her words for that. She is taking to me, explaining things. How i belong to her. How i will always belong to her. How she has been and will continue to break me down, crush my misguided sense of self. Build me up again where my only worth comes from my service to her. And more and more in this vein. Softly spoken but firm and repetitive ...

In general it's been New Year's resolution time, and in that spirit Mistress was saying, on the way to our pre Christmas session, that i was easy to deal with physically, but more difficult emotionally. This was followed by a pre-session chat that was a tad fraught and the only rescued by Mistress stepping up and just taking control. So once again i got to thinking over Christmas and thought, i don't want to be difficult, so while  I do want to be able to input into our dynamic, that doesn't mean i expect to have some things fulfilled and i don't want to be at risk of upsetting anyone, least of all Mistress. So i thought perhaps the best way to facilitate this might be to have a very one sided conversation during a session and save my input for when I'm bound and gagged. So Mistress binds me up and ties me down to the bed and gags me thoroughly. While I'm immobile and silent she advises against making any noise, even through the gag. I am good at being...

Mistress opened the door to the room and moved quickly inside, ushering her nervous newbie ahead of her. The first task was to reassure him that the puppy she'd warned him about represented no threat or risk. That he had neither bark nor bite, that he was as helpless as he appeared. She spoke in a slightly nervy tone and said that he wasn't to be alarmed by the presence of 'puppy'. Puppy was in fact her loyal PA paying for the room and having facilitated this new play partner and future cash cow, a cow about to get thoroughly bound and teased til he wants nothing else save to fall at her feet again as soon as possible. This was a state her PA was in already - in such thrall to her that he'd willingly traded his own solo session to become her dog. He was naked save for key accoutrements. On each paw was a sock held on with plenty of black duct tape. About his head a mass of coils of black duct tape, covered a tight leg from a pair of tights. In his mouth a ...

Amidst the range of things I've been thinking about doing as self improvement, one is staying as chaste as possible. Usually I go through phases of celibacy, 'indulging' myself and then, as it isn't externally maintained, i fall off the wagon. Usually just to get a decent night's kip rather than anything else. Well no change so far, no external pressure/requirements have come in to remain chaste or lock myself up. That may change but for now it's just my desire and my will power. My own self denying ordnance. Just to keep me frustrated, perpetually in the mood, and thus more productive, more attentive and greatly more grateful for the slightest affections. So having resolved to try, how can i get external help to help sustain this condition? My SO rarely initiates anything, so save the occasional weekend tumble (i don't deny her) this doesn't have much impact. Mistress loves chastity so no problems there. She is very keen and may yet require a devi...

It's 2019 and it's new year's resolution type time. I've resolved to try to be the best submissive i can be, as all too often I'm too human, prone to sulks or strops or just failure to be as helpful and supportive as i can be. I've so many flaws and this year it's time to try to fix some. So a for instance - Mistress just insists on me making her a hot beverage when we go somewhere. Curt to the point of being abrupt. This is just as it should be. She never says please and never says thank you. The manners thing can irritate me though. But why? I was thinking about this over the festive break and kept asking myself why i was projecting normal expectations and normal me on to a situation like that? So I've resolved to thank her for the opportunity to make her a warming beverage when next i see her and everytime i see her. Just a simple 'thank you Mistress' as i serve her. As i hand over the coffee. Or finish bathing her feet, or whatever she ...

Mistress nestled against the big pile of comfortable pillows at her back. Her legs stretched comfortably out beneath the smooth sheets, pressed for warmth against the bound shape between them. She wondered idly if he'd wondered what it would be like to be between her thighs, and if it was quite as he'd expected or hoped. He lay on his stomach, wrapped in tape, arms pressed to his side, legs pressed together, a black mummified sausage of a lump. Beneath the layers of thin but strong film, electrodes clung as pairs to chest and cock. The latter was bent carefully back to point at his toes to prevent him humping the mattress. It functioned as a receiver for whatever stimulation she cared to inflict, but was not a trigger he could pull to escape his erotic torment. The electrodes themselves were connected to wires that trailed across the entrapped skin to escape via a small cut in the back of the film. The wires were connected to small devices that controlled the sensations, an...

Well it's here and I'm lounging about looking at pornography and hopes for the year. I'm ridiculously lucky in my life, with Miss, Mistress and my SO.  My new year's resolution is to be the best man i can for all of them, in the way each one wants, to be as supportive a partner as i can be in each of the different ways they may want me to be. My hopes for 2019 are that they each seek from me what they want, whatever it may be, knowing the real life constraints that channel us all. I can only be a husband to one, and a friend can only do so much. A lot,  and as mych as i can, but only so much alas. But i also hope that they each find the strength to give me a bit of what i need as much as what i'd like. The little bit of starch and meanness that i don't really seek but in a weird way need. To suffer and squirm, to fervently wish for kinder treatment but at the end, after, to feel treasured through my suffering and my marks, the pain of bloated and unfulfill...