Thoughts and fantasies of a submissive

... drools. the other day Miss and I were out shopping as usual and a heavily tattooed trader at the market saw her tattoo and she, being a free spirited soul lifted her t shirt to show him her shoulder. Or as I put it, flashed her well filled bra to the guy and much of a very busy market.   As Miss' bag carrier/pack horse/donkey I could do little beyond look appalled and get told she doesn't give a toss, as is her right. She is far more liberated than i. Her muscled trader friend was impressed and asked if I had any tattoos and of course I don't.  But then he suggested I should get one and Miss agreed in her amiable way.  I was not so sure but then got to thinking. Should I get a tattoo? What should I get. Miss suggested something incriminating for my forehead, ha ha. in the meantime, a thort came to me. Perhaps as a tester she could write Miss Rules, knoblet drools on my belly in black ink? It's true and while temporary it would be fun. And she can imagine me furio...

 I am seeing Miss on Friday and very much looking to that.  Miss will have carte blanche on how to end me, which will make her very happy and will wind up being very traumatic for me in some way no doubt.   But I never want for ideas and dumb suggestions, and so thought that Miss could show her affection for me by having some fun objects to hand for Friday. First: the green velvet leash.   Miss likes to get her hands on me when we get in so it might be nice if she unzips me, slips the knoblet and his cowardly friends out and after giving them a workout to her satisfaction she slips the leash over my balls. It's just a simple slip knot but she could lead me about, to the kitchen first to pack away the shopping and then to the couch to say hi to the feathered fiend and tend to Miss feet. While she keeps me shortleashed in exactly the right way.  Left: Hanging on the bannister so it is in sight when we get home.  Second: The long handled scrubbing br...

 So this Friday I am getting back to boring normality, after a week curtailed by illness. Breakfast somewhere we know well and which we love. Lots of playful banter with the staff, as I have to explain the latest escapade Miss has conjured for their and her amusement.  Then around the market, ours but not a private one, form some donkey work, me carrying her shopping like the obedient servant that i am. Home via the train, hopefully a quiet one where Miss can get her hand on my crotch and remind me who is boss. Boss of the knoblet for sure.  Then home for some time on the sofa, chat with her housemate and attention to her legs and her tootsies.  Then bath and what will probably be the last shave of the season, hopefully with a good scrub of my dirtier places so they are properly clean and pink. Upstairs for dressing and then a doze, as we are both dozy and much practised in that skill. Wake for Miss time, nuff said, and a bit of a cwtch before dinner.  Dinner of...

So the other week was Miss' birthday and I took her out for a special lunch at one of her fave restaurants. It was an epic meal, at a very classy place which makes a point of flaunting portion control conventions. I had to ask the charming waiter if he had any patrons who finished the fish and chips meal for the day to reassure Miss she wasn't lame for not finishing it.  We adjourned for home after a shared dessert (which neither of us deserved as we hadn't finished our mains) and headed back to the station. We caught the first train back as opposed to waiting for a far quieter one 5 minutes later so I missed out on the pleasure of her hand ravaging my crotch on way back. Not least as we couldn't even sit next to each other, some we poked faces at each other and I snapped a pic or so of her Miss behaving. Which was very cute and I shared with her, but not one for others.  We got back and the tights she wore made stroking her legs even nicer than usual. But also meant to...

I will be back with Miss tomorrow, and that makes me very happy. It has been two weeks and too long. To celebrate, i want to treat Miss as well as I can and as delicately as she wants to be treated, tender as she is from an unfortunately long illness.  So we'll meet up as usual, have breakfast and do some shopping.  When we get home I'll start by kneeling on the rug and kissing Miss's glorious bottom with the tenderest of full face press kisses.  Then we will retire to the front room where I will first remove Miss' shoes and socks and while she sits with legs across my lap, stroke her feet and her legs with the usual affection. After a chime's worth of chilling I'll pop up and fill a tub with soapy warm water, and soak Miss' feet in it, gently working them over in the suds and then towelling them dry when the water cools.  A pause for my own bath, as i need to shave up and be ready for primping.  Then upstairs for a cwtch and a doze or two, the best afternoo...

The bruises from my last time with Miss have sadly faded. Fortunately, the last time i offered my slim arm to her teeth, Miss was so vicious that she broke the skin. This hasn't healed yet. I am glad of it. The tiny knobble of scabby skin is something I can touch, something that verifies her mark. It's nice and easier to feel than my bruises.  But it's fading too and i need replacements badly. To be shaved and dressed again. To be abused, put in my straight jacket and made to endure hours of therapy, finished off with some cruel polishing and palming.  But woe, ma belle Tyrante is not feeling well.  I am full of sympathy and affection for her and pester her from afar to eat properly, rest up and take her meds.  But I also need.  I need bad things again, badly. It's got so as I have been slapping my own face throughout the day. One slap each cheek. Then  when the heat subsided, doing it again. And again. Sets out the kind of mood I'm in.  Firm treatment...

Sadly Miss has not been well, and neither has my old friend Kentish Miss so all my social engagements have dried up today and I am home alone. Which means I've been thinking about Miss and sending some flirty, dirty banter. Not quiet bratting, but on the cusp.  Yesterday I suggested I should spank her for not replying to one of my messages. This is very outrageous as I have never done that, but it's good to tweak the tail of my Miss even if I wouldn't spank it. Though having suggested I'd hit her on the bottom with the women's weekly, a la Victoria Wood, I went as far as googling it to see if they still print it.  Which they do... So your bottom isn't out of the woods yet Miss.  Mind you if I ever did I'm sure I would spend a lot of time kissing it better, however lightly it had been offended. And that the rolled up magazine would be used more stringently on a more efficacious area of my body for my temerity.  Then Miss advised me she was seeing a hygienist ...

...it was Miss all along. So i was on my long train ride and listening to Miss' choice of music for it. A long ambient trance track that was both atmospheric and a bit melancholic which was perfect for a misty grey day, which yielded finally to night with the sunset beautifully silhouetting trees on the skyline like arboreal skeletons. Over the course of the hours Miss rang and did not, long silences when i thought she'd stopped followed by rapid fire calls. For each call i squeezed the head of the knoblet between thumb and forefinger, through my trousers, counting the number of squeezes per call, getting as high as almost a hundred. I had thought i'd be able to do this from my pocket but ones i had on were quite awkward when sat down. So i just threw my coat over me as if asleep/dozing and with left hand under the folds of said coat, the regular pinching of thumb and forefinger was not noticeable to even me and i was doing it. When man on other side of the train left at fi...

Another wonderful session of therapy round with Miss the other night. Still feel tingly.  There were some technical difficulties early doors, with Miss setting up ad free Youtube and then having some internet difficulty. The kind we'll look back on and laugh one day, hell i'm laughing already ;) But wasn't when we were back online, Miss driving me like a race car.  Red lining it when she had me erect and panting almost constantly. With my voice rising and in near panic mode as she controls me but takes me to the edge so often, holding me near, breath ragged knoblet wishing to deflate for its own protection but waggling hard still.  There was a time one night when Miss was toying with me before we fell asleep and it was so intense and so controlled that I was genuinely afraid. I said I was tired and i needed to go to sleep. So we did. But as I lay next to her I was not asleep, i was relieved to escape.  Red lining me is the closest we have come to that.   Th...

 I have a long train journey coming up and sadly I cannot be joined by Miss. But I got to thinking, perhaps not physically.  But what if we were still connected?  A remote controlled vibe would be one way, but too loud. And i have a deep abhorrence of making other people uncomfortable. That and with over 4 weeks of denial would likely make me lose control as well and that would never do.  But a long time ago we played a game with my old Nokia, where she rang me and rang me but I never picked up. The Nokia had a powerful vibration and I had it attached to me downstairs and so every time it rang Miss was able to speak to me as it were. So with this journey coming up I thought we could recreate some of this.  So I thought, how about I text when I am cosily set up on the train? Cosily equals sat by a window, earphones in, Sambient playing and with coat draped over my side and lap, phone in my pocket. Then you can call me and with every ring I will throb the head of ...

Had another wonderful day with Miss, back to normal with usual mix of day out and day in.  It's interesting how life advances. When we started regularly hitting the market I used to let Miss carry a little bag of pastries or the like home so it didn't look weird that I was carrying all the groceries. I was very worried about how things looked in those days. On the way back this time I had all the groceries, on my back and in a shopping bag, with brolley on other hand, Miss on that arm to keep her close and out of the rain and with my fly open with my PALE PINK active wear flashing slightly through the gap.  How times change.  Lord knows what anyone looking might have made of it all. It's a big city, no-one looks or cares.  We had good times and good food, and at end of the evening between dinner and me having to go we sat on sofa for a bit. I was still in my stays and stockings and Miss was sat next to me on the sofa just gripping the knoblet and crushing it in her f...

So I'm sat on train heading home, after a wonderful evening in Miss' company. It didn't go exactly as planned, as life is wont to do. I sat on the wrong side of the sofa for initial bit of leg pampering, which threw Miss off as she was not in her normal pos. Upstairs Miss preferred a cwtch and a doze to Miss time, and what we did was cut sadly short. Promise you proper worship next time Miss.  We went downstairs but only after Miss couldn't find the straightjacket. Had all day to get it out so couldn't help but feel a little undervalued. I'm only human. Miss would say barely so. But she got straps done up tight and we settled on the sofa. And it was magnificent. It's been almost 3 weeks since my last confession, as it were, and she went very hard very early, which panicked me into thinking she'd make me go over, but she knows my body well enough it seems as she kept me from tipping over however many times she took me to the edge of the cliff.  And at the...

Very controlling all the same. Will be wearing Friday for you Miss.  Please treat me accordingly.

Feeling very desperate today. It's been a week since i last saw Miss and closer to 3 weeks since I got a climb axe, as Miss would put it. Was thinking happy thoughts when I had some quiet time at home today and after a little while the dribbling and little leaks made me feel like I had wet myself, so aroused was I.  All of which is by way of preamble to say that I am feeling very charged, physically, and that this is making me feel very creative here and in other ways. So to reassure you Miss - it is not my desire to burden your life in any way that you wouldn't want or to complicate it in ways that will make your pretty little head hurt. Which is not to say that I don't want to do new things, because I do. I want to have  pictures of these too, so our memories of this life don't end in 2007,  which seemed to be the case for our adventures when i was going through pictures the other day.  But while i am still being annoyingly creative, I will make sure we discuss thi...

So a quick thought ahead of tomorrow's visit to see Miss.  If I open the door with my shopping and such and see a pillow on the floor, I know I am to drop and kiss my Miss's bottom. Know it cause done it.  Happily. But what if Miss wants a bit more of this sort of thing?  Well here's a suggestion. Take off my belt and loop it around my neck.  Feed it between her legs or to her side and shorten to taste. Til my face is pressed firmly into my wonderful Miss' bottom and I must follow bent over and trapped against her, follow her wherever she wants to take me. To the couch for some tootsie treatment. Upstairs for some Miss time. Would also work later with my good stout red collar and a short leash...

I was lying in bed the other day and day dreaming as usual in the cosiness of the under the covers world. Day dreaming being the usual euphemism for tweaking my chest, grinding my hips onto the mattress and riding edges while I think about smut. Or Miss. Or smut with Miss. I have a thing for non verbal messaging and signals as I have made clear here before many times, and even where I am ok with verbalising i prefer simple one word commands to keep things simple. So one of my favourite signals involves a piece of jewellery I bought Miss - a pendant for her neck which replaced a much beloved one she had had for very many years with many deep emotional connections that can sadly never be restored. The pendant i got her is British designed and very nice, subtle and celtic and while it can never properly replace what was lost it is as good as one can get I hope.  In the spirit of our friendship i have tried to keep things as light and friendly as possible. So while my gift was designed...

Just had a wonderful day with Miss, and with almost all of it being about her and pleasing her.  I chose a Christmas present as per my suggestion the other week, the long handled scrubbing brush which she used on my chest and the knoblet while I was having a bath. Then we went upstairs and Miss helped me into my stockings and various stays, my old black control underpants and my new peach coloured corselette. Miss wasn't sure it would fit me (this is me being polite) but it fit ok and gripped me wonderfully. Until I can lose some weight and get back into a full corset it will do nicely. It did do nicely.  We had our usual cwtch and prolonged bit of Miss time. Jeremy and Nigel were seen to in the usual way, attention seeking wastrels as they both are. Afterwards we had some lovely little spoon time, punctuated by a little nap for Miss, still clutching my chest as she snored softly in my ear. This is not a euphemism, Miss does snore very sonorously, there is just a slight change...

Christmas is coming soon and I hope my Miss has a good one. of course it should be as you have configured it how you wanted it Miss:) We don't go in for presents much and that's fine by me, though I will claim that the gift i got you on our recent trip should count.  But i thought, what need have we of presents anyway? Upstairs is a literal treasure trove of kit and toys that we so rarely use. I have loads too.  So why not make every week Christmas by gifting ourselves something from the stash? A choice by me, either by request or by choosing when we get in? Or being sent upstairs to find a style fo implement with an injunction that..."I choose wisely!" Along with a choice by you? Either when I am there on the day or waiting for me on the stairs when we get in.   Each choice could nicely indicate mood, and the direction of travel for the time we have coming  up together.  How about Christmas every time Miss?   

 Have been writing here a bit more than usual, and am conscious that there is a lot for my belle Tyrante to pick up, and a lot more than she would normally like to have to pick up, seeking a simple straightforward life as she does.    So to my number one reader, please worry not. If things i have written here seem complicated, we can discuss them at yours. If their purpose seems unclear, such as my desire to keep photography in mind, i will explain this too over breakfast or similar. My general thought is to keep growing, and doing things as worthy of memorialising as the very first time we met.   Anyways some things are clear and working well I think. Tootsie time for example, seeing my lovely Miss blissed out on the sofa, while her feet are gently soaked, then dried then rubbed til soft and relaxed. Then to stroke her legs tenderly from toe to thigh, light teasing strokes. Afterwards I dress for pleasure, using that old construction - soft lace topped black se...

The other day I ordered some frillies to arrive at Miss' house. We discussed this in advance and Miss agreed.  Like a muppet, for some reason I sent the girdles to the wrong address. I have been seeing Miss for over twenty years and I am not sure how I got the worng address. Kindly neighbors delivered them, and I will fix the address issue on the next order, for there will be another order, but I still feel bad about the mistake. Miss of course is too pragmatic to give a monkey's. But perhaps whenever Miss chooses to spank me, or beat me, or knee me then she can give me a Miss's dozen. More than a baker's dozen and make sure I never forget the right number ever again.  What say you Miss? Will you help in my education?